Matthew Barney's "Cremaster Cycle" films are playing at the Nuart for two weeks starting this Friday. He's also the father of Bjork's cute-as-a-button baby...

...and speaking of Bjork, she's airing the rehearsals for her tour on her website starting at 1pm EST. So if you're like me and didn't get tickets for her Hollywood Bowl show on August 11th (sniffle, sob), take some comfort.

Hee! The Strokes are wine snobs. I'm not judging, I'm just observing. It's what I do.

Ryan Adams and his record label are having a bit of a scuffle over his new album. He likes it, they don't. This should be fun to watch for the next year and a half. Of course the NME has already picked up on the story.

I can't ever think of New York summer concerts without picturing that huge Simon & Garfunkel concert from 1980 in Central Park. I miss all the good shows.

While you're waiting for a new Strokes album, you can tide yourself over with one of their microphones that are up for auction. Okay, so it's not the same as 12 new songs. Take it up with them, not me.

The RIAA mistakes Professor Peter Usher with R&B singer Usher and slaps the former with a file-swapping lawsuit. Then they said "Oops."

I would love to thank Miss Modern Age for the link, but I'm too busy weeping over the news. Lance Bass & Paris Hilton are remaking "The Great Gatsby". My brother says that Fitzgerald is rolling over in his grave, but don't you think that F. Scott & Zelda would've gotten a kick out of this?

New Yorkers are currently being blessed with a crop of grilled cheese sandwiches, you lucky ducks.

Sherman Alexie is one of the nicest writers I have ever had the pleasure of working with, so I totally understand why this girl has a massive crush on him.

Okay, I thought it was just me, but apparently the radio waves at KXLU are being interfered with, which explains why I keep hearing mariachi music on the station all the time. Not that there's anything wrong with mariachis, but really...

I've decided that Paul McCartney is one of the nicest people alive because if someone snuck into my house, stole my diary and returned it 23 years later, I'd be a little bitter. I guess that's why he's been knighted and I haven't. Yet.

I don't know what's more hysterical: this man who's trying to ban Oreo cookies because of the trans-fat content, or the name of his company: BanTransFat.com, Inc. Is it a website? A company? Will we ever know the answer?

(Side note: And if this man gets Oreos banned, he and I will have words.)

I heard Liz Phair's new song on the radio tonight. Catherine is right: she sounds like Avril Lavigne. First the Oreo cookies and now this!

Do you need a love letter? Do you need 300 love letters? Who doesn't? This page completely sucked me in and I lost a good 45 minutes reading all the different ones. And the actual count is 400, just so you know.

If you New Yorkers feel like a little pop art this weekend, go over to MoMA QNS for the Andy Warhol film exhibit. It starts tomorrow--I saw it when it was at LACMA here in Los Angeles and it's definitely worth your time.

Riddle me this. Why does Bob Dole even care that Jack Osbourne is in rehab? Kelly has some choice words for our favorite third-person-speaking politician. Naturally.

Ashton Kutcher makes a perhaps not wise decision when he talks to Rolling Stone about the Bush twins smoking out at his house. Not surprisingly, he now thinks the Secret Service might be tapping his phone.

If you live in the DC area, you should go over to Brookside Gardens for their new "Wings of Fancy" butterfly exhibit. Spring is in the air! Brookside Gardens, 1800 Glenallan Avenue, Wheaton. (301) 962-1400.

Mike Slack is one of the coolest people I've worked with over the past few months, so it should come as no surprise that not only is he an excellent photographer, but he has a new book out, as well. All you LA people can find it at Book Soup, if you are so inclined.

John Lennon's home is now open to the public.

By now we all know that the Strokes have stopped working with producer Nigel Godrich, but this story has the most fun with the news.

Somebody shot Bryan Adams with an air rifle. Say, has anyone seen Ryan Adams in Canada lately? (Oh, you know I'm just kidding...)

Rooney has their first album coming out. I swear, I've read so much about these guys that I had no idea they hadn't released an official album yet! Two thumbs up to their PR people.

Does your morning totally suck so far? Then maybe you should listen to Johnny Marr's live acoustic set at KEXP. You'll feel so much better, I promise.

Tina Fey makes up for the wage gap between the sexes by signing a two-year, $4 million contract with "SNL". Jimmy Fallon is no doubt on the phone with his agent right now.

I've picked up some fun beauty stuff over the past couple of days, and they've been so fabulous that I need to share my joy. In no particular order,

*Fig Apricot perfume from Fresh Index

*Lustre lipstick from MAC in Fresh Brew

...which brings me to the inevitable panicked search for a good Mother's Day present. Every year, my mom asks for dishtowels. Yes, dishtowels. Do you see what I have to work with?

Gretchen Mol talks about her Vanity Fair cover curse. Sshh, better not tell Drew Barrymore.

Did you hear about the college students that have to pay $15,000 apiece to the RIAA for file-swapping? There isn't enough space on this diary for me to explain how much I loathe the RIAA, but know that I do. A lot.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw Adrien Brody at my work. I'm here to report that he is really, really cute. Damnit.

Pamela des Barres talks to Rhett Miller about all the other troubadors-in-training. He's playing a not-yet-sold-out show at Largo on May 31st, so if you're not going to see Coldplay, maybe you should check it out.

Anyway, "Winged Migration" opens this weekend, and judging from the trailer, it looks quite beautiful. And I will smack anyone who starts singing that Nelly Furtado song, I swear to God.

Do I sound a little tense? Good thing I'm going for a massage this weekend, followed by shopping for some little black dresses. I'm having a Holly Golightly life at the end of the month and have to attend some cocktail parties. Yayee for girly things!

Who would've seen this one coming? Andr� Leon Talley is signing at the Used Book Cafe on Tuesday, May 6th.

Of course, it's now time for our weekly White Stripes Media Update. This one's good: they're on the cover of this month's Q Magazine, where they talk about taxidermy and pickled livers and other fun things. Meg is such a trooper, God bless her. (Thanks to TT for the scan links!)

And following their LA-skipping tour of California, the Stripes get love from San Francisco to San Diego.

My new favorite online thing? Christina's "5-Minute Crushes". A wonderful resource for when you're feeling a little bored or a little blue. Not that I am at the moment, but still...

NME brings us the new Dandy Warhols video. I can't watch it because I'm still in the dark ages with my modem connection, but maybe you could tell me about it? Please?

Happy 150th Birthday to Central Park! May you always be green and happy and full of rollerbladers and creepy rabid squirrels.

One of my goals in life, aside from living in Italy and learning to speak French, is to attend the Met's Costume Institute Gala. I don't know why this is important to me, since I hate wearing heels and Anna Wintour kind of freaks me out, but it is. If you have a spare ticket next year, I'll be your best friend.

Okay, I like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. They seem like lovely, cool people. But I can't stand their music. Is this wrong?

Hee hee, ha ha! Jerry Falwell calls the Dixie Chicks "French hens"! Is there anything funnier than dumb conservatives?

There has never been a magazine that has praised drinking as much as New York Magazine. This week they're on about the top 5 cheap beers, God bless 'em.

Are you having a bad hair day? Feeling a little fat? Then do not read this article about a 12-year-old supermodel. Just don't.

R.E.M. is making their best album yet, Peter Buck tells NME. Does anyone ever say, "Yeah, our new album is just so-so. I'm pretty ambivalent about our musical direction." No, I didn't think so.

Dear God, Paris Hilton makes her dog Tinkerbell wear tiny Chanel heels. Is there anything sadder than a chihuahua in stilettos?

Betcha didn't know that Los Angeles has a blossoming art scene. Well, we do, so go visit it right now, please.

New Yorkers love their filthy, dirty city, thank you very much.

And one of my favorite writers has started riding the bus instead of the subway. You brave soul, you.

God, I love this story. Creed fans are suing the band for a lousy show. There isn't enough money in the world to make up for attending a Creed show.

I've finally discovered the one redeeming thing about Florida: Butterfly World!

Remember 'zines? When every single person you knew was putting together six pages of slightly-obsessive writings? Now there's an exhibit at South Coast Plaza in Orange County. The Tori Amos 'zine sounds especially...clever.

No matter how pure your intentions might be, chances are you missed the White Stripes on Conan on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. Pity. Now you'll have to watch online, starting with "Seven Nation Army".

Now the whole country knows about the beauty of Charles Shaw wine, thanks to the NY Times. You know it's bad when you pay more for a gallon of gas than a bottle of wine.

Who's the best political commentator in the entire world? Why, it's Jon Stewart! (If you said Andy Rooney, you are so not my friend anymore.)

One of my favorite artists is being featured at the Grand Palais in Paris right now. Marc Chagall was such a genius...observe.

This stream-of-consciousness list from Neil Strauss at the Times cracks me up. Why aren't there more bands like Tatu, he begs to know. The answer's in the question, Neil.

Are you going to this year's All Tomorrow's Parties this year? Do you wanna learn more about it before you go?

Remember Kyle from the NYC "Real World" episodes, the guy who never seemed to blink? Ever? Well, he's found his calling: Daytime television.

The guys in Wilco just keep on giving. If you pop your "Yankee Foxtrot Hotel" CD into your computer and visit their website, you can hear some new tracks. Six, to be exact. Woo-hoo!